John and Mary were so excited. They had saved up for years for a large down payment on a house.
They had scrimped and saved and made many painful sacrifices so they could feel comfortable with a large down payment. They drove up to the first house and were met by the salesman who rushed them in the front door and showed them the house in less than 20 minutes. They could barely ask a question because the real estate agent was focused on his agenda and schedule. How do you think John and Mary felt after that first experience with the real estate agent? If you take into consideration their history of scrimping, saving and sacrificing, I cannot even imagine the disappointment, frustration and confusion they were feeling.
If the agent had taken time to listen to their dreams, wants, and desires, he would’ve taken the time to do the research to find the house that would meet those dreams, wants, and desires. The art of listening is not something that’s developed with the flip of a switch or going to a weekend seminar but it is a lifelong journey. Listening is the key that can unlock almost any door in any relationship from marriage, to dating, to business, to parenting or sharing your passion with others.
Seven benefits of a great listener.
- A great listener can open the doors of your mind. What do I mean by that? Many times just being able to talk to somebody else will give you clarity and the ability to see things in a new perspective. In my own marriage, I’ve learned that my wife wants me to listen to her more than she wants me to solve her problems. That’s a difficult thing to do for most men because we tend to want to be problem solvers. Women on the other hand are more relational and want you to understand and be a sounding board for those problems.
- A great listener can stimulate creative solutions. By asking the right questions and understanding intuitively the needs and issues of the person being listened to, the light may go on and the person comes up with a solution or an understanding that they may have been struggling with for weeks, months or years. A creative solution may result in a new perspective, a deeper understanding or a sense of empathy that was not there before.
- A great listener can also take on the dirty job of becoming a vehicle for the other person to unload garbage. Sometimes garbage in your mind or life can be a real barrier to progress. A good listener will allow you to vent, share your frustration, share your hurts, pains or resentments but they will not leave it there. Because focusing on the garbage will only allow the garbage grow. The great listener will help you identify the garbage and get rid of the garbage. The results of that will be an immense amount of freedom.
- A great listener many times will assist you in developing a new worldview. Sometimes we get trapped in our perspective of life, relationships, job requirements and so much more. But great listener who can ask the right questions many times can open a new way of seeing the world and the possibilities that it has to offer.
- Another benefit of knowing a great listener is having somebody that really listens on an intuitive level and allows you to get rid of your stress which brings a sense of peace knowing that somebody has actually heard you without judging you.
- Another benefit of finding somebody that’s a great listener is that you will not feel alone. Someone else really understands and takes the time to listen to your needs, wants, desires, frustrations and challenges.
- A great listener will also focus on your actions. Accountability is essential for progress in any area of your life. Imagine a person who wants to lose weight and start an exercise program. Some coaches recommend walking to begin with then walk jogging and later jog walking and later jog running and so on. But like anything that takes discipline, motivation can drop off after a few days or weeks. But a great listener will take the time to develop a plan and hold you accountable to the actions you choose to take. A great listener will also follow-up to see if you took those actions and commend you if you did. If for some reason you are unable to follow through, a good listener will help you find why that happened and set you back on the right path to meet your goal.
So my recommendation is to find somebody that is a great listener and treat them like gold. Whether you’re an actor or actress, whether you’re an athlete or a mom, whether you’re looking for a promotion or having problems with somebody at work, a great listener or better known as a coach can help you work through those problems and move on to a better quality of life.
Live life to the fullest and share your passions,
Mark A. Sinclair
